I tried to explain to my kids, a little bit, about what I am going to do. They are 11, 8 and 4 they understood for their ages. I don't know what else to tell them or how else to prepare them. I feel like I'm a little lost myself so I certainly can't lead someone else along. Hopefully it will only affect them in the best way. I hope we can make this a positive experience and learn from the hard parts: whatever they may be. 

Well here goes nothing...
I have been obese for almost 16 years now. It is a story with lots of details and heartache, ups and downs; I can no longer run from the realities this puts in my life. Maybe at some point I will write about what has gotten me here. Right now I would like to share this part of the journey that starts now.

I have had my first appointment about bariatric surgery. I am 90% convinced I will go thru with it. I am scared of dying too soon. If I make it through the surgery and aftermath it will give me a longer life. I feel at peace with this decision. I am a religious person. I have prayed about this and feel like my Heavenly Father has answered my prayer.

I will begin taking classes for weight loss in October. It is a formality I have to impatiently muddle through. I am a smart person, I have many accomplishments, and yet I can't translate what I know scientifically about weight loss (eat right and exercise - no big mystery) into something my emotions can understand. So the first step is to make sure I know how to loose weight. I am trying to go into the classes as open minded as possible. Maybe this will help. Maybe I will have a moment and I will change. Maybe I will be bored to death, feeling like my intelligence is being insulted. We shall see... I will do my best.